Today is the first day – and I’ve failed already…

However, this time I’m not going to accept that as an excuse.

Last night, I decided that I’d set my alarm earlier, get up and go for a “run”.
Okay, not really a run, more of a brisk walk to get my heart rate up, blood pumping, and all the good things you need to do.  There is no way I’d ever attempt a run at this point as I’m too unfit to do anything like that without collapsing into a huge sweaty heap.

Then, when my alarm went off this morning, my son (who had had a nightmare) was wrapped round me tightly as if his sleep depended on me.  Which, to be fair, it probably did for him.  So, I elected to stay in bed and let him sleep.

So, yes, I “failed”.  Except I haven’t.  I’ve offered reassurance to one of the people who matters most to me in this world and made them happier.  That’s not a failure.  So I can’t look at it that way.  What I need to do is look at my day today and work out what I need to do and what I need to move about to make exercise happen.

Now, as I may have mentioned, I’m not working at the moment.  My son is in school from 9am until 4.30pm due to after school activities.  I therefore have (allowing for travel time) 7 hours in which to do things.  And, what do I need to do?

  • washing – and the machine does all of that
  • cut the grass – before gnomes move in and set up home
  • do random unspecified “stuff” which I won’t end up doing because it’s too much hassle, I have no motivation, and I have so much time because I’m not working so I can put it off.

You see how I might fit some exercise in there?  What I actually mean is that someone might see me and laugh, so it’s easier not to do it at all.

Remember when you were at school and had PE class?  If you’re short with little physical aptitude then it is, quite frankly, a whole new circle of hell that Dante hadn’t even thought about.  The boys laugh at the girls and then the girls pick on the weakest.  Being honest, while no one ever deserves to be picked on, I didn’t help myself much either.  Openly liking classical music, superheroes (I was a geek long before it became popular) and not knowing what Radio 1 was (NB: if non UK residents are reading this, in the early 80’s Radio 1 was THE station to listen to because it played the top 40) and wearing clothes that my mother liked.   So, I was the weakest link and got laughed at…  and that only encouraged me to try to get out of PE and not do any exercise.

Getting up early was my way of trying to avoid being laughed at.  At 5am, there are very few people awake enough to notice a short, fat and sweaty woman trying to leg it about the place.  However, it’s not going to stop me.  I can’t run today, but I can stick on an exercise DVD instead.  Therefore, once the school run is done, it’s pilates for me, and then I might even cut the grass!

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Starting all over again!

It’s been quite a few years since I started this blog.  Then gave up.  Then restarted.  Then gave up.  You get the general idea!  Now I’m starting all over again.  I’ve deleted all the old content, and am going to start at the very beginning.

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Not me, but the image is appropriate!

This blog will be about me, and my decision to change things about myself.

Firstly, I need to lose weight and tone up.  This is a school holiday week, so I can’t start now (not a terribly good excuse, but doing things with a younger child isn’t the easiest), however I can plan and work out what I’m going to do.  Food, exercise and general health options to make myself feel and definitely look better.

Secondly, my home.  It’s lovely, but having moved last year, I’m still prevaricating and not getting things done.  Mainly because I’m (hopefully temporarily) unemployed, so I feel like I have all the time in the world so I’m just putting things off in favour of watching Sky Box Sets – which has a knock on effect on my first option above re my weight.

Thankfully, I’m now near family so I can hopefully persuade them to help me out over the coming few months, as I suspect I’ll need all the help I can get so I don’t fall back into old habits.

I honestly don’t expect anyone to read this, but at least if it’s out there, I can pretend people are cheering me on and then I will maybe succeed!